i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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