dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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