i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
