If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
