Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
