I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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