Tell her she can't have a vagina
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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