So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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