Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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