just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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