i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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