she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
