The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
