He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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