I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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