She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize