My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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