His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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