I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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