my vag is so smooth its legendary
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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