there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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