i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
