Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
