this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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