Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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