My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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