My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I can't put those talents on a resume
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize