whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
