hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
