Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
