Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
