and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize