Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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