even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
organizing the empties. That sober.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
