I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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