I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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