this just has baby written all over it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
