Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
