SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
