singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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