just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize