We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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