problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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