This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
