i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
