Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
