Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
