I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
