You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
