no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
