I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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