so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
