There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize