I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I believe in your delicious
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
