Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize