And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
