the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
you never un-have a 4some
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
