Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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