Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
