Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
